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Disclaimer (Start Here)

The content of this blog is usually unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious (an oxymoron if ever there has been one) beliefs. If you are not the kind of person who likes snarky humor or chicks who swear, you are still free to read our entries (how else will you learn, after all?) and all comments are welcome.  Feel free to call The Smumzie out whenever you disagree with us (how else will we learn, after all?).  However, attacking another commenter is more than just an irritating social faux pas, it’s comment abuse.  Such behavior will be discouraged under the Don’t be an Asshole rule and you will be beheaded.

This blog is written for anyone who is a step-mother, has a step-mother, or has ever met one and wants to be as cool as she is.  If your children are now spending time with your ex husband’s new wife, boy are you in for a treat.  Instead of hating us just on the principle that we’re the next woman in his life, think of this blog as a spy inside enemy lines  – though, honestly, we are not the enemy and deep down inside, you know this. We’re both trying to do the best we can to raise your child(ren) so let’s work together on doing what’s right for the kid(s), whaddayasay?

It is also written for women trying to have babies but not having much success.  We write for IPs (Intended Parents), and for the surrogates, egg donors and same-sex couples who understand the ART (Assisted Reproductive Therapies) vernacular an emotional upheaval caused by the process.

No animals are ever harmed in the creation of this blog even though the Smumzie occasionally claims to have sacrificed small animals under the full moon.  If you haven’t smiled even once while reading this official disclaimer, I’m afraid there’s no point in hanging around any longer.   Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this disclaimer backwards, so just ignore that tingle in your naughty bits that usually warns you when something strange is about to happen.  If you have stumbled upon this blog in error, add 2 eggs, 1/2 cup of butter, 2T cinnamon and place it in a warm oven for 15 minutes.  Best enjoyed with a cup of strong coffee and plenty of cream because – hey – thighs like this don’t just happen.

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