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Smumzie & Skiddle

The original plan for this blog was to gather a community of people who had formed families in a non-traditional manner, whatever that manner may be.

Whether you’re in a second marriage to a man who already has children or divorced and trying to make sense of how your husband is already re-married and concerned with what that woman is doing to your children, you’ll find some little nugget of information here that will hopefully ease your fears.

I met my husband on Have a field day with that one.  If you are going this route yourself and having little to no success (as I did for the first 18 months and 38 dates) abandon every preconceived notion you’ve ever had about who you think is right for you and meet even the round guy with a 1960s haircut who’s wearing black knee socks with sandals in his profile photo.  I did and I couldn’t be happier.  Because hair cuts can be updated and socks can be changed.  Bad oral hygiene, however cannot.  And remember, you can’t fix stupid.

Despite the fact that my profile specifically said NO KIDS, he had one.  And the brat won me over.  The brat, by the way, was my nickname from my Grandmother (who raised me after my mom died).  It’s one of the most affectionate terms I use for her, besides Skiddle.

We struggled (mightily) at times as you’ll no doubt see if you hang around here long enough, but overall I feel very lucky with my unique and utterly amazing little Skiddle.  Over the years, the terms “step-mother” and “-daughter” began to chafe.  It felt disingenuous to refer to each other as something distant or once-removed.  Thus, the terms “S’mom” and “Skiddle” were born.

I was going for a “Red Queen” face here.  No?  More forehead?

In any case, she spoiled me.  And I wanted more.  So Better Half (BH) and I got serious about birthin’ us some babies.  Although Skiddle waffled between mildly supportive and apoplectic over the idea of any other being on Earth stealing her beloved daddy away, she always said that We are a good Smumzie and deserve our own little snowflake.* (*Shamelessly lifted from Julia, who we can only emulate from afar.)

‘S’mom,’ eventually became ‘Smumzie’ due to Our penchant for referring to ourselves as the royal ‘We’ and speaking in an appallingly bad British accent in an effort to elicit giggles from darling Skiddle.

In any case, we’re working with a surrogacy agency whose main clientele are same-sexed parents.  When we met with them originally my first thought was, “Well, good luck finding a coffee mug that says that.”  It’s almost impossible for us to find a decent greeting card and today there might just be more step-families than there are traditional ones.  We can’t even imagine the struggle same-sexed parents face.

And We decided to help. Our hope is that Smumzie’s Place will become a forum for all non-traditional families to Unite and Untie the bonds of fear and prejudice that threatens to engulf the good people of this fine planet, but in a lighthearted way that celebrates every family’s fabulosity.

There are many sites out there that credibly argue the morality, legality and constitutionality of such topics.   And while we are passionate in our view that all people are equal and thus deserve the right to wed, breed and celebrate life in any manner we see fit, Smumzie thinks there’s a place for a little humor in these uncomfortable topics.  We like to poke a playful finger into they eye of seriousitude and snobbishosity and we’re thrilled that you’re along for the ride.  So buckle up and if you haven’t read the disclaimer yet, please do so.  I would hate to have you lose your head.  It would just ruin my weekend.

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