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The Moment of Truth, Recalled

March 20, 2010

Scene:  A stunningly beautiful 39 year old woman wearing a designer suit sits at a fertility clinic, clearly squeezing the visit in between sales appointments, circa 2003

Me [stunningly beautiful woman, for those of you who didn’t catch that]:  So, tell me, doc, how long can I really put off this family thing?
My RE (reproductive endocrinologist for the uninitiated): You’re joking, right?
Me: Uh, no. See, this is my serious face. Notice the not smiling thing going on around here [pointing to mouth area]
RE: Um, well, your hormone levels at this point more or less indicate that your time has passed.
Me: You mean I’m dead?!
RE: No, I mean if you want to become a parent, there are ways we can help you. . . but not with your own eggs. You see, they start to break down when women hit about 35 years of age. You’re. . . a bit past that, aren’t you?
Me: Yeah, well I’m old enough to recognize condescension when I hear it if, that’s what you mean.
RE: . . .
Me: So, how is it that all these celebrities around my age manage to pull this off?
RE: Those aren’t their own eggs, you naive twit. [Ok, so I embellish for your reading pleasure]
Me: No kidding.
RE: No, really. In fact, whenever you see the big stories of fraternal twins born to someone over 40, I’d be willing to bet big money that they are donor eggs via IVF.
Me: Well, I guess it’s a good thing that you have “big money” to spend then, thanks to dim-witted women like me who actually believed all these years that it was possible to start your family well into your 40’s.
RE: It is possible, dear. Just not with your eggs.
Me: Thanks a bunch for clearing that up, doc.

Good times, people.  Good times.

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