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IVF Ninja

December 16, 2009

The original plan for this blog was to gather a community of people who had formed families in a non-traditional manner.  At the time, our thoughts were more on how to cope with marrying a man who already had children (something Smumzie could barely bring herself to consider back then).

We struggled (mightily) at times as you’ll no doubt see if you hang around here long enough, but overall we feel very lucky with our unique and utterly amazing little Skiddle.  Over the years, the terms “step-mother” and “-daughter” began to chafe.  It felt disingenuous to refer to each other as something distant or once-removed.  Thus, the terms “S’mom” and “Skiddle” were born.

If you think finding a card that says how proud you are of your amazing little Skiddle is, just try finding a coffee mug that says “I {heart} my S’mom.

In any case, she spoiled us.  And we wanted more.  So Better Half (BH) and I got serious about birthin’ us some babies.  Although Skiddle waffled between mildly supportive and apoplectic over the idea of any other being on Earth stealing her beloved daddy away, she always said that We are a good Smumzie and deserve our own little snowflake.* (*Shamelessly lifted from Julia, who we can only emulate from afar.)

‘S’mom,’ eventually became ‘Smumzie’ due to Our penchant for referring to ourselves as the royal ‘We’ and speaking in an appallingly bad British accent in an effort to elicit giggles from darling Skiddle.

We envisioned our new life together going something along these lines:

  • Seamless(ish) integration between Smumzie & Skiddle?  CHECK
  • Introduction of new Smumzie spawn? CHECK
  • Skiddle rejoicifying in her role as older sister? CHECK

How it actually went was something more like this.  Cue the music – and…sing with me now:

19 IVF cycles

11 “It’s not meant to be”ees

10 “Just relax” es

9 near fisticuffs

8 margaritas

7 years of trying

6 fertility clinics

5 miscarriages

(like how I made that gold?)

4 nervous breakdowns

3 egg donors

2 surrogates

and a big fat negative on the H P Teeeeee

Well done all.  And yes, for those who are wondering, I am a Certified IVF Ninja.

In any case, we’re working with a surrogacy agency whose main clientele are same-sexed parents.  When we met with them originally my first thought was, “Well, good luck finding a coffee mug that says that.”

I’m joking, of course. My first thought was, “Holy Drummers Drumming, this is going to be expensive!”

But it occurred to us that finding those coffee mugs was, indeed, going be difficult.  It’s almost impossible for us to find a decent greeting card and today there might just be more step-families than there are traditional ones.  We can’t even imagine the struggle same-sexed parents face.

And We decided to help. Our hope is that Smumzie’s Place will become a forum for all non-traditional families to Unite and Untie the bonds of fear and prejudice that threatens to engulf the good people of this fine planet, but in a lighthearted way that celebrates every family’s fabulosity.

There are many sites out there that credibly argue the morality, legality and constitutionality of such topics.   And while we are passionate in our view that all people are equal and thus deserve the right to wed, breed and celebrate life in any manner we see fit, Smumzie thinks there’s a place for a little humor in these uncomfortable topics.  We like to poke a playful finger into they eye of seriousitude and snobbishosity and we’re thrillified that you’re along for the ride.


From → Infertility

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